| |
i'm pretty sure what happened in the past, should be left in the past. - tags:episode, just is
- feeling a little:pissed off
 - listening to:for the first time - the script
| |
|
can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars
i could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now...
sometimes i believe that when you are given a choice and you make the wrong one, time will forgive you and give you a second chance. realistically thinking, this is highly unlikely and a 'wrong' choice generally jepordises the situation and thus, encasing you in a moment of immense anger, pain and sadness. well; your emotions could be the polar opposite, but that depends on the situation.
at the moment, i question almost every choice i make. should i ask for more shifts at work? should i drop a particular subject? should i change my subjects again? should i continuing this relationship where i am happy, but i know that there is something there that is not quite right?
i haven't asked for my shifts at work, considering how i need the time to study ( and finally post an entry, it seems ). i will not drop the subject i have in mind because i'm sure i can survive just one more semester of it. i will not change my subjects because even though i may not be getting the grades i want, i'm satisfied with what i have done so far. and i will continue the relationship because i am happy.
... how do you question the choice to lie to yourself?
i met some people recently that have really been quite influential on my life. although i know how it would be awkward to drop the bombshell question of "so when are you guys going to date", it irks me that they are not. hurry the fsck up please!!
- tags:episode
- feeling a little:morose
 - listening to:가지마 - 먼데이 키즈 (Monday Kiz)
| |
|
dear queensland university of technology;
oh, how i have missed you so. the countless hours of running my hands over your smooth, hard desks and leaning against the many strong, sturdy pillars you have.
just to make things awkward :)
so, SA is now in her second year of university, yet still do a majority of first year subjects due to the fact that she changed all her majors and minors. hopefully, SA will be able to walk out of her tertiary studies with a bachelor of media & communications, minoring happily in fashion and advertising. she also enjoys the fact that she enjoysd studying. not that it helps with kitty (i.e. current boyfriend who once sported flaming red hair. like ronald macdonald's nose.) being a games design student and playing l4d2 uncensored next to me whilst i attempt to do some serious hard. core. study.
he just gave me a look.
... bitch.
:D
SA's parents have now allowed her curfew to extend a little, reigning her in only when transportation is difficult to acquire. which it still is.
driiiiiiiiiive, kitttyyyyyyyyy. driiiiiiiiiiiive.
also, SA's friends from the year below are now university students!! yayyy!!
go to your fscking lectures, you slack losers. i don't mind them skipping a lecture. maybe even two. but don't start FROM week two; you're just bullshitting yourself so that you don't have to deal with the guilt of not going. do you know how much MONEY is invested into the subjects you apparently study? and how long that waiting list is for people who actually WANT to go to uni? especially this; dual degree in business and law. and yet already skipping the majority lectures. you've been given this chance to do so well in such a great learning enviroment - in such a great and hard fought for degree, so whyyyyyyyy ( doooooooshiteeeeeeeeeeeeeee, kimi wo - ) would you throw away a chance like that?
FSCK.
... kitty's eating macdonalds. this can't be good.
DAAAMAAAGGGGEEE CONTROLLLLLL.
i've missed you all :)
- tags:episode
- feeling a little:bitchy
 - listening to:Mr. - KARA
| |
|
Reply to this meme by yelling 'KONORI USED HER PEEPING TOM ABILITY ON ME' and I will give you five words that remind me of you. Then post them in your journal and explain what they mean to you.
high school
so. i went to the "best state high school the state has to offer". or something along those lines. i hated it. i didn't do very well, and i was subjected to a mass amount of vicious bullying as well as having a hard time at home. and that was life for more than three years. i did however, make a few friends i still remain close with. the others can suck my balls.
dance
hip hop, pop n lock & contemp. apparently, i don't do too bad in them, especially the first. i like dancing. it makes me feel like i'm actually good at something for once.
nice legs!
my legs have been commented on multiple times. apparently their nice. i still say they're not skinny and long enough. i finish them with heels 90% of the time, wax them every three weeks, and enrich them with body butter.
perseverance
i'm a very determined little girl. the goal of which i am persevering towards are usually horrendously large and unrealistic, but i still work towards them. maybe i'm just stubborn.
condoms
i don't know either.
- tags:meme
- feeling a little:moody
| |
|
return
ryo
"What's that, daddy?"
"Snow, Miura. Isn't is pretty?"
"... Mommy's prettier."
I laughed and turned to watch Kana, who had stopped a few meters back to buy a crepe for her son.
"Yeah. Kana's prettier."
The boy holding my hand beamed as Kana returned, her cheeks red from the cold. A crepe was thrusted under my nose.
"Eh?"
"Chocolate coffee hazelnut, right? With chopped nuts?"
My cheeks burnt as I took the offered snack; I didn't know that she had noticed I repeatedly ordered that.
"... Thanks."
"Anytime."
Miura laughed as his face became a canvas for cream.
"Did you mean to hurt him?" Kana asked tentatively when I told her about my phonecall.
"It was coincedental, but a lot more effective than I thought."
"... That's cruel, Ryo."
"I'm cruel."
Kana met my gaze and shook her head sadly.
"No. You're mistaken, stupid and selfish, but you're not cruel."
I didn't know how to reply to that.
"You still love him, so why play family here? Go back to Tokyo, Ryo."
"I like it here."
"Don't lie to yourself."
"I like Miura."
"He likes you too."
Kana reminded me too much of Tatsuya at times. So much that sometimes I lost myself.
"I like you."
"Lia-"
The kiss I forced onto her was a whimsical and sudden action. I did like Kana. She was practical, sweet and caring, and she had bought me a new guitar to replace the one I had left in Tokyo. What I forced on to her was entirely my fault. What wasn't under my influence was the way she kissed back; passionately.
She drew away, breathless.
"I'm not Tatsuya, Ryo."
I knew she wasn't, but my feelings from her hadn't manifested from the remanents of the memories Tatsuya had left.
"I know," I whispered as I took her hand and led her to the bedroom.
The next morning, I had decided.
"Tokyo?" Kana guessed as she passed me a cup of coffee.
"I'll come back."
Kana shook her head and smiled gently, making my heart ache.
"Last night was a gift. You don't have to force yourself."
I crushed my lips to hers and rested my pal against her cheek.
"I will come back. Promise."
Five hours later, I was back in Tokyo.
I didn't expect Jin to open the door. I knew exactly what was going to happen when he did, but the surprise of him being there made my reflexes slow. Rubbing my jaw, I glared at Tatsuya's boyfriend.
"That hurt."
"It was supposed to."
"Aren't you supposed to be at work?"
"Aren't you supposed to be in Gifu?"
"Fair enough."
I stood up and glared defiantly at Jin, jaw locked and fists clenched.
"Can I wait for him at least?"
Jin raised and eyebrow.
"Go ahead. Our front porch needed a sweeping anyways."
I stared blankly at him. Jin leered.
"You. Sit. Door. Steps. Understand?"
I really wanted to hurt him. Jin was saved from having a face-plant by someone who I never thought to see that soon.
"Welcome home Tatsuya. Look what the dog dragged in."
I would never forget the utter emptiness in Tatsuya's eyes as he looked at me.
"Oh. It's you."
Did you mean to hurt him?
"Tatsuya," I greeted, reaching out to him.
It was coincedental, but a lot more effective than I thought.
He didn't step closer.
"How's your child and wife, Ryo?"
... That's cruel, Ryo.
I fought the tears. I fought the pain.
"I lied, Tatsuya. They're not mine. They couldn't possibly be mine. I've only been gone for 5 months."
I'm cruel.
A flicker of life sparked in Tatsuya's eyes.
"They're not?"
No. You're mistaken, stupid and selfish, but you're not cruel.
"I didn't mean to hurt you this badly, Tatsuya."
Tatsuya bedan to walk away from me, shaking his head.
"It was cruel, Ryo. I don't like people being cruel. Jin was cruel. You're cruel. Everyone is just..."
He ran.
You still love him, so why play family here? Go back to Tokyo, Ryo."
I followed.
- tags:chapter
- listening to:Fairytale - Alexander Rybak
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1){kind=small}
xx_scandalus's journal